


Nightmare Mode Sucks

by Mewmewgirl612



Series: Demons are fucking stupid [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Dialogue alittle, Cheesy, F/M, Fluff, Inner Dialogue, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Me/Solona are going to get our little hearts broken, Mild Angst, Modern Girl in Thedas, Mutual Pining, No Smut, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Weird Plot Shit, happyish ending, things get better though just stick through it, weird magic shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2018-08-24 05:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8359192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mewmewgirl612/pseuds/Mewmewgirl612
Summary: All I wanted to do was get away from the world a little and play some games. I did not expect what happened. Another Modern Girl In Thedas Au





	1. New Game

**Author's Note:**

> This may be a little hard to read at first and Updates will be weird because I am writing this and playing the game in order to get certain details right. I am going to be playing on Nightmare mode until it gets to the point where I cant progress (Per Update, I already completed this playthrough I just had zero inspiration for the fanfiction). My character will absolutely know all about the main plot of the game but as I said there will be major plot divergence because of this knowledge. 
> 
> She's a lot like me and will most definitely try to save her favorite characters. 
> 
> Update: This Work is currently under some revision because past me is weak and present me has decided to take the story in a different direction. You might want to reread chapters 2-5 because they are now heavily edited. (So far only applied edits to chapters 1-3 but should be finished with new updates soon.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please read Author Note!!

****

The game sat on the main menu screen for a few minutes. I started to write down my new playthrough this time around.  Officially the plan was don’t romance Alistair, I wanted to finally have a King Alistair playthrough but I knew already that it wasn’t going to happen. Unofficially the plan was to not get caught living a double life through video games. I went to take my notebook back into my hands and look at it in my lap. 

  
The page had “Playthrough” written in large blocky letters with ‘I’m really bored and want to get out of the real world for a couple hours’ written smaller in wobbly cursive. 

‘It could be worse’ I thought to myself, half amused, pressing start and starting to create my character. 

  
I usually made my character green eyed with red hair only really doing this because I had this idea that maybe the Mass Effect and Dragon Age characters were distantly related, I knew it was a long shot, but it was a nice headcanon nonetheless. If I was deciding to escape from reality using the game then I thought that maybe my character should look like me, absentmindedly I started sifting through the options, weighing the pros and cons of each, before finally landing on Mage. It’s my favorite overall anyways. After debating a name, I just settled for the default name and then started making the character. It took me several minutes to get my character to resemble me but in the end I was proud of myself. The bored looking character stared back at me. After that, quickly I placed my attributes, and selected my skills and spells. I decided before I started the game that I was finally going to try nightmare mode. The game loaded and I sat through the cut scenes. 

  
I shouted with glee when I saw my second favorite character standing in the room as if I haven’t even played origins before. My heart started pounding with anticipation for I expected this play through to be much harder than the others. Hopefully not as hard as the fucking dragons in Inquisition though.

  
I wasn't really paying attention while running through the fade quest. Although I did stop once to check my notebook for answers to the riddles. Everything died fairly quickly and I only needed to use heal once while running through the area. After running through this origin several times the quest was boring and just a tedious errand at this point. I really should think about having a save set later in the game.

  
My character walked into the circle and as expected Mouse started his long drawn out speech about leaving the fade. I just random clicked on phrases, knowing that my choices didn’t really matter, and finally came across something I’ve never seen before. Mouse loomed over my character and the camera zoomed in on his face. He looked directly at me and whispered.

  
“So be it Player, if you wish to let me out into the real world I will come forth.” I stared at the screen shocked for a moment before the world started to shake around me and the game cut out suddenly. I curled into myself as a bright light shined around me and suddenly everything went black.


	2. Save (1) Apprentice Quarters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have woken up...but where exactly am I?

I woke up to a face hovering over me.

“Sol? Are you all right? Say something, please…”

“Why are you calling me Sol? Ugh my head hurts, who are you?” I looked around and noticed that I was in the dorms from the game! I looked down at my body to find blue robes covering me. When I looked at the person that was hovering I notice that it was Jowan?

“Jowan? What the fuck?” I exclaimed turning sharply to have my feet hang off the side of my cot.

“Keep your voice down! No need to shout.” He said eyes wide as he scrambled to shut my mouth.

I huffed and crossed my arms while looking at him imploringly. “Jowan was I brought back with a notebook by any chance?” Jowan considered this for a moment before sheepishly reaching into his robes and pulling out my leather bound journal.

“I didn’t look in it I swear, I’m sure you would just die if someone found out about your crush and all.” He teased before handing over the book and sitting on the ground in front of me. “Sol? What was it like?”

I remembered the joke from the game that I laughed at but maybe it wasn’t supposed to be a joke. I said in my most ominous voice “It was... harrowing” and in my head I started to crack up but I could see Jowan didn’t appreciate my humor.

“I know I’m not supposed to know, but we are friends! Just give me a hint. I keep your secrets.” He said pleading. Even though I knew what was coming I felt as if maybe I could change it. Maybe if I just told him about the harrowing he’d not resort to blood magic and just keep studying.

I looked at the ground for a second then looked up at him and start to speak. “Jowan, it’s difficult. You need a lot of training and-“ I was cut off by Jowan.

“I have been training! I’ve been here longer than you! And I still haven’t gone.” He glared at me for a second and then sighed. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be bothering you with all this. I’m just worried. Either way I was sent to tell you Irving wishes to speak to you.”

I nodded at him already knowing what was next. “Okay, Jowan we will talk more later.” Jowan walked away and then I heard the conversation I’ve heard maybe a bajillion times between the two mages in the corner about Cullen, knowing that he was basically talking about me now, my heart swelled with pride but I was still very confused. Why was I here?

I picked up my journal and started flipping through it. Everything was the same so I still have the plot laid out and battle plans for everything. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad. I just wish I knew why I was here. I looked around once again before standing up.

For a few minutes I just wandered around the first floor getting a feel for the tower and the rooms before moving onto the next floor. While wandering through the first floor library I jumped a foot in the air when I heard a fireball go off on the other side of some shelves. I rushed over only to realize that they were just training. This would take some time to get used to I thought to myself.

Onward to the second floor I thought while laughing aloud. I got many strange looks though. I guess Solona doesn’t normally act this way. Well good thing I will be gone soon. I run up the stairs and I am way too out of shape for this game. God why couldn’t I just play Wii bowling and get transported into that?

Curiously I start talking to people prodding and wondering if they have any strange reactions maybe it’s just a dream? Owain is still the same, talking in his bored lifeless tone. When I walk into this floors library the enchanters are still talking politics. But I hardly remember theses dialogues but it seems right.

I open my notebook and flip through it. I know at one point I wrote down a lot of the dialogue in the game but how much do I actually have? Scanning through the book it turns out I only really have some of the dialogue and for some reason its only dialogue with my future companions. And mostly about their side quests. I stand there pondering this for a few moments before I have the need to just keep going. I’ll probably figure it out later. As I walk out of the library heading towards Irving’s quarters I stop suddenly.

‘Oh my god, that…that is Cullen.” I screech in my mind and start retreating backwards into another room and I bump into a mage cleaning the floor. My breathing becomes labored as I try to control it and I walk to the door to peek out and see if he saw me.

“Dear? Are you okay you seem to be hyperventilating?” The mage I bumped into says.

“What!? No! I’m fine! Perfect even! Just a few moments please!” I cry out hysterically as I try to calm down. I flip through the pages in my book and I start reading the notes I’ve written to hopefully calm down. When my breathing finally calms I take a step out the door and march my way towards Irving’s room intending on getting through this stupid area and hopefully having a conversation with Cullen.

As my steps draw nearer to the Templar my heart starts to pick up pace. God what would my family think if that saw how I was acting over a fictional character in a dream.

I stop in front of the man and sigh.

“Hi, Cullen…” I squeak out in a way too high of a voice. Before clearing my voice and wringing my hands. He looks surprised for a second before stuttering out his reply.

I laughed a little before saying Hello to him again and then listening to him go on about the harrowing. It’s what I’ve heard before and I must still feel giddy because I don’t do my normal snappy reply about him striking me down.

He seems so nervous and its way more adorable in this dream world so I apologize for bothering him and he just once again says he’d talk to me soon. And I walk away with a huge smile on my face towards Irving’s quarters. Honestly I should get a hold of myself next time he will be this cute is in the 3rd game and even then my character isn’t Inquisitor if my dream stays within plot lines.

Either way I go forth into Irving’s quarters knowing that soon won’t come. But it was a nice thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kind of feel like the story is turning into "Lets tell the whole world my weird obsessions with video game characters! Yay!" So every chapter is just the name of that particular save state and where it started. Next chapter will be Senior Mage Quarters so on and so forth. 
> 
> Update: Now Edited! And I've added some more realistic viewpoints rather than my ridiculous childish fantasies. Those will be more evident in the next edit.


	3. Save (2) Senior Mage Quarters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Testing the bounds of this universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how long this chapter took!!
> 
> 1\. My xbox broke so I lost all my saved data!! :(  
> 2\. I'm currently grounded haha so I can't even write chapters. I'm uploading this from my grandma's house.  
> 3\. I just got all the DLC for origins so this story will not be vanilla game play like I thought it would be.  
> 4\. While I was grounded I beat the game for the 4th time as my first noble play through and it occurred to me that its probably the canon way to play... 
> 
> Update: Edited 03/16/18

“Jowan, could I talk you, alone?” I say staring pointedly at Lily. They look at me puzzled before Lily nods and goes off to stand by some bookshelves. I look at Jowan before grabbing his robes and ducking into a dark corner.

“Look Jowan, you are my best friend and I need you to trust me!” I frantically whispered. “I know that you are studying blood magic and I know you are going to try to say you aren’t but I know and do not ask how I know.” Jowan stand they mouth agape before slowly nodding. “Now before you start thinking I’m crazy Irving knows you are attempting to escape. And he is going to catch you if you try because the doors down there alert the Templars that someone is down there. As far as I know there is no way you can escape. I know you still want to try and I’m telling you right now it will go very poorly. Do not attempt this. If you give me some time to prepare I can get us out of here by the end of the night okay?”

He opens his mouth and then closes it before speaking to me. “Sol, you are insane look if you didn’t want to try this you don’t have too. I just wanted you to come with us.” He gives me a sad smile before placing his hand on my shoulder.

‘I guess my dream won’t let me change any events. But I must try.’ I thought to myself.

“Okay, Jowan. Then let me do all the work so then you won’t be implicated okay?” I flash a quick smile before dashing off to get a rod of fire.

‘If I remember correctly I talk to Owain and then talk to that guy in the library to get the rod without any hassle.’

As I’m making my way to the library with the form a thought crosses my mind to warn Cullen of the impending danger. So I make a quick detour to write down a note on some parchment.

_ Cullen, _

_ Do not tell anyone of this but Kinloch Hold is in danger. I know you won’t believe me until it’s too late but I will come to save you I promise you this. Stay strong, I will come back. _

_ Yours truly, _

_ Solona _

With that on a scrap of parchment I run over to get the rod form signed then I get the rod. As I’m walking back to the chantry I pass Cullen, first quickly checking to see if there are any other Templars around. Stopping quickly to pat his gauntlet and note raise alarm, I slipped the note into the open crease of the gauntlet. He looks at me questioningly before he notices the paper in his gauntlet. I smile at him and walk away a feeling of accomplishment overwhelming me, even as I still hear a voice in my head questioning the strange interaction. I continue to make my way back to Jowan.

Jowan does a little dance when I show him the rod and then him and Lily take differing sides at my back, almost as if we are going into battle rather than just walking downstairs. There is no way they could know about the impending battle, so it just seems suspicious. I tell Lily to move forward without Jowan and I, making it so that we are less conspicuous. As Jowan and I are making our way through the halls and we once again pass Cullen. He frowns at me for a second, causing me assume that he had read the note. Thinking better than to acknowledge his reaction i ignore his look and continue forward as if unaffected. 

Once we are finally past him I hear Jowan make a disgusted noise and I cast him a questioning glance before deciding to keep moving. We make it to the basement, now meeting back up with Lily, before Jowan finally opens his mouth to explain the disgusted noise earlier.

“Sol! I can’t believe that Templar, he has a disgusting crush on you and won’t take the hints that you are not interested.” He says with a prominent frown.

“What?” I whisper whilst staring at the ground, even more confused now seeing as I didn’t expect that reaction. He then starts up the line of questioning again when we make it to the door.

“I just don’t understand why he’s still here, didn’t you report him to Irving for gross misconduct?” This makes me even more confused so I open my mouth to say as much before I decide better of it and just glare at him.

“I don’t see why it's any of your business.” I hiss at him before making Lily say the password and willing for some sort of spell to appear out of my hands. After a few minutes Jowan starts to laugh, as if the conversation before had not happened, and asks where all my power went. I gather my breath intending to shout at him for being so increasingly annoying when suddenly a ball of fire flies out of my hands.

I look down at my hands for a second before opening the door. Jowan just looks at me confused before running to the next door. The next door is also locked and Lily doesn’t know how to open it. I think back to the fact I have played this before and look to the other side of the hall. Obviously I can’t go that way because I don’t want them to catch on to the fact that I can’t control my magic but to my utter misfortune Jowan notices the door also and runs over to open it. He then shouts when the armor around us comes to life.

I sigh while waiting in the corner for the two to take out the armors. Jowan glares at me and I can tell that he is upset about how I didn’t contribute. Especially since I’m supposed to be a Senior Mage now. I put on my most sheepish looks before telling him I am having trouble with my magic. He nods but he still has a frown on his face, all trace of the mirth earlier at the door gone.

I look at all the armor strewn around on the floor and grab a sword from one of the sets of armor while Lily grabs a mace. 

“This shouldn't be too hard, right?” my question bounced off the stone wall as no one really answered. Neither of them actually knowing if I’ll be able to handle the sword but how hard could it possibly be. All I had to do was smack things.

I passed my staff to Jowan,knowing that at the moment he’d make better use of it. We made slow progress through the basement since more and more armors started come to life and I began to regret my line of thinking earlier. Try as I might the sword was a bit too heavy for me and I should’ve expected as much with my arms looking as small as they do. I tried to swing the sword like I saw in movies but I continued to struggle. Eventually LIly suggested that I pick up a dagger from one of the armor sets. The dagger was much easier to handle but pulled me even closer to the armor sets, and even though this was a dream I knew that if I got hurt I would probably wake up like normal. Managing to avoid getting hit by the armors and hiding when coming into contact with the dragonlings we made our way towards the phylactery. I started to rummage through all the crates I could find on my way, just as I’ve seen my character do in the game. After a while I started to find some health potions and oddly enough a tons of rings. 

“Why are there so many rings here?” I say apparently to the void as no one responds to my question again. We continued although and I surprisingly made it without a scratch.

“Maybe I can see the future” I say aloud seriously once we make it to another chamber and Jowan starts to ask how I knew how to get around the basement so easily. He laughs believing it to just be friendly banter before his eyes start to widened and i assume he remembers the conversation we had earlier.

“If you could, wouldn’t you also know the outcome of this adventure?” he questions. I stare at him blankly. “Why Jowan, I didn’t say those things earlier just to sound insane.” I say loudly emphasizing my point by pointing my dagger at his chest. He glared at me as I went to put the dagger down to my side.

“Whatever, I’ll probably wake up from this dream before anything I did has any sort of affect.” I say with a sigh before running off to grab his phylactery.  I thrust it into his hands, completely ignoring the fact that he wasn't ready to grab it before letting go. He manages to catch it before it hits the ground while turned to grab my journal and thumb through my notes to calm myself.

“Look Jowan, in order for this to work you need to react accordingly and use your magic that we talked about. I’ll then find you and we will finish this. Leave a letter in a town called Lothering for me that tells me where you’ll be heading alright? Do not under any circumstances actually listen to a man named Loghain.” Jowan nods at what I tell him before smashing his phylactery and making a push for the door. Lily looks confused but goes with him.

‘I hope this works otherwise this adventure might make me have an emotional break down’ the thought crossed my mind as I tried to will any sort of power to my fingertips but still ending up with nothing, for some reason another thought crossed my mind but this one screamed that I was broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as you can tell with my break from the story I've decided to go a new direction with this. I hope it goes well. so far its a big jumbled mess but I think I'm on a path. Any mistakes in this chapter were my own and is probably because I haven't played the magi origin in months. Most of this is just guess work from my mind bank.
> 
> Update: Now updated! With a even better direction! I'm really excited for everyone to see the new direction tbh. This is also now the other half of the what counted as the previous chapter. Now split up for better length per chapter.


	4. Save (3) Basement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything goes to plan...sorta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so stressed about making a good character that it kinda took the fun out of the chapter, either way, I think it's okay.
> 
> Also, I got inspiration at school so I wrote this all on my phone. Let me know if there are any mistakes, thank you!
> 
> Update: I am proud to present a new and improved chapter 3! I really like this chapter tbh, and most of my edits were heavily placed in this one. My favorite chapter is Chapter 4 though, which is currently undergoing its final editing.

I slipped the dagger into my boot and made my way forward. Quickly realizing it wasn’t comfortable, but I had nowhere else to place it. Once I reached Jowan again I nodded my head towards him before pushing the door open. We were confronted by around 20 templars. I stood frozen while Jowan flashed me a shocked look before facing forward and going stone-faced.

Seconds later Knight-Commander Greagoir came rushing towards us with First Enchanter Irving trailing behind him. The first enchanter looked particularly disappointed, which just made me ask the question why didn’t I just tell him? It would’ve gone much faster.

"So what you said was true, Irving. An initiate conspiring with a Blood Mage, and you! You just passed the Harrowing and you are already breaking the rules” KNight-Commander Greagoir spit his rage at us and I started to shrink back, never really liking it when people started yelling. I tried to hide behind Lily but she was also doing the same thing I was doing.

There were more accusations thrown around before finally right on cue Jowan sliced his hand and started to perform blood magic. While everyone was knocked out he flashed me a wink before running out of the tower. Even with the accusations in the basement he still considered me a friend I guess.

Slowly everyone got back up and began to accuse me, probably because me and Lily were the only people unaffected. Only to be interrupted by Duncan asking me to join the grey wardens. “Ser Duncan, this is my duty and I shall oblige” I bowed my head before turning to Irving and requesting to grab my things. Nobody looked shocked I noticed glancing around the room, almost as if they expected this. 

“Yes, but I must ask if you did you take anything?”

“I gave Jowan a staff, rummaged through some crates so I may have some potions and a LOT of rings. I also picked up a dagger from one of the sentries if you want you can have it all back, especially the stupid rings.” I said while showing him the many many rings in my pocket. He chuckled before telling me to just keep it all. Another thought crossed my mind, this time it was shouting about needing to clear out the rings. I silently agreed with the thought, if I was back in “God Mode” I’d sell off the rings immediately.

“Ser Cullen escort Solona to her chambers and then out the Circle” Greagoir said before huffing and stalking out of the room. Irving gave me a concerned look, probably remembering Solona’s supposed complaint about Cullen. I flashed him a reassuring smile before turning to Duncan to speak quickly on our next course of action.

I nodded to Duncan and asked for him to wait for me by the Docks as I collected everything, he seemed to accept this. Before turning around and walking towards Cullen. The thought crossed my mind that this would’ve been a great extra scene to include in the game, but that was followed up by another thought claiming that this was a useless scene. I don’t know why my thoughts are so conflicted but it might also just be a crush addled mind falling apart.

He had a serious frown on his face and stood stiff, just as a Templar should. came to a stop in front of him gesturing towards my room with my head, he didn’t even react only taking a defensive step behind me. We walked in complete silence to my quarters, it was very uncomfortable. I knew that everyone was staring at us though and with every step that we took it dawned on me that if Solona was so against Cullen in the past then everyone must be worried. It didn’t make sense to me since he always seemed to be perfectly level-headed, why would my dream include stuff I didn’t even believe?

When we made it to my room I started to rush around to pack, being sure to grab whatever clothes I had. I tried to sneak in a few small spellbooks without Cullen noticing, but even though I was trying so hard the small knapsack fell on the floor and spilled all the books. I rushed forward to hide it, but I knew that he already knew what happened. While I was picking up the mess suddenly there was a note thrown in front of my face, it nearly hit me but i glanced over to it and picked it up. It looked hastily scribbled and smashed as if it was crammed somewhere and had been in that place for hours. I went to see who dropped it but there was no one else in the room except for me and Cullen, who was standing straight with his back against me trying to give me some sort of privacy.

I opened the note and smoothed out the paper. It read:

_ Solona, _

_ I do not know where you got this information and it’s probably foolish of me to trust you, especially since you are acting so strangely, but I do. I hope to give this to you before you just up and disappear like you seem to be implying. If this doesn’t get to you then everything afterwards doesn’t seem to matter and Maker I hope no one has found this.  _

_ I wish you could just tell me what is going to happen instead of leaving it all vague, but you must have your reasons and I see no reason to distrust you, except for the aforementioned you are acting very strangely. Despite what the chantry may tell me, and despite my own personal thoughts...I trust you.  _

_ Don’t die, _

_ Cullen _

I folded the note and tucked it into my dumb pocket full of rings.

“I'm ready to leave.” I said while getting back on my feet and grabbing my knapsack, deciding to forego the books. He spun around and saw the mess I made on the floor. His lips seemed to uptick for a second, but that may have been my imagination. I smiled slightly even if it was my imagination playing tricks on me before shaking my head and bending down to stack the books in a pile. He made his way towards the door, but before he reached for the handle I spoke his name causing for him to stop and look at me.

“Cullen, don’t die.” I whispered, not fully knowing if he heard me but deciding that was all I could say at the moment and slowly moving past him towards the door. He didn’t say anything but just stepped behind me to allow me to leave first. When I exited the room, there were mages all around the door. I ignored all of them and just made my way out, leaving the circle for now.

Duncan met me on the way out offering to carry my small knapsack, after explaining that I was perfectly capable to carry a bag full on only one change of clothes we made our way off to the little dingy boat. I didn’t look back at the circle. I knew I would be back soon. After all, this dream is just following the game plot.

Duncan and I spent the next few days on the road and unsurprisingly it was very uncomfortable. The rip seemed to go by much faster than I thought only really taking a few days, but then again dream logic right? Duncan asked me once why I couldn't fight, or run well. It became increasingly obvious every time we came across bandits on the road. During each battle Duncan was forced to protect me, seeing as my magic was still not working. The thought that I was broken crossed my mind again. I thought that maybe Duncan would start to become slowly more frustrated with me but he seemed to very forgiving about the fact that my powers weren’t working as the circle described. I started to sing under my breath during the trip hoping that maybe that would prevent Duncan from becoming upset and just abandoning me, but he never complained. 

He tried to hold a conversation with me about circle life and my magic but I didn’t really have answers. I mostly gave him half-truths and headcanons such as that, I was using a dagger because my mana was drained from the Harrowing. He nodded and seemed to accept it at face value but the look of concern didn’t truly leave his face. In order to pacify him, I promised to be checked by a mage once we reached Ostagar still slightly concerned myself. During the nights I would continue to will any form of magic with absolutely nothing coming from it. During the day i just tried to keep spirits high by cracking jokes and trying the find out more about Duncan, I was always rebuffed though. Probably because I didn’t already have the knowledge so the dream wasn’t coming up with a made-up backstory.

As the days continued I started to wonder if I would ever figure out how to control my magic and in the end, when we recruit Wynne I might have her teach me basic healing spells. The dream seemed like it was never going to end, lasting a lot longer than many of my other dream and even allowing me to sleep; but it still wasn’t realistic seeing as it seemed like maybe time was skipping.


	5. Save (4) Ostagar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally meet our knight shining in splint mail armor but things are vastly different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: Half of this is an updated version of the old chapter 4, but the other half is all brand new content! I am so excited that I have decided to pick this back up, especially since I'm back in a major Dragon Age mood. Let's hope this time it won't take me almost a year to update. Please leave feedback down in the comments! All feedback is appreciated, even constructive criticism!

After a few days, we finally made it to Ostagar where my dream would probably end the second I got stabbed. Though meeting Cailan was upsetting at first. I didn't expect the wave of emotion to hit me, the fact that not too soon this man would be dead, I was so overly polite that it probably scared him away. Duncan then told me to find the other recruits and then meet him at the fire pit.

Before I did that though I had to complete all the side missions in the area, obviously. So I made my way to the kennels. Seeing Barkspawn in what I guess is real life was exciting! He was still the dark tan I remember from the game and he had sad dark brown eyes. I put the muzzle on him easily and then began to stroke him softly on his neck. He gave a curious look, well as curious of a look a dog can make, before laying down. I moved out of the kennel and promised the Kennel Master to find as many flowers as I could.

After addressing Barkspawn, I ran over to the caged prisoner. Whilst on my way I addressed Daveth and Ser Jory, I didn’t know if it was really worth whatever power the dream had in order to save the two or what it could possibly change so I decided to put the thought out of mind., so I continued onward to the caged prisoner. Wishing silently I had latex gloves I talked to the man and then to the guard. Apparently, I didn’t have enough coercion because the guard did not budge. 

I then made my way to the Quartermaster, deciding to attempt to sell him the bajillion rings in my pockets. I then bought a backpack. Mostly just so I could shove any future stolen items in it, and then asked if he could find me a sheath or point me to someone that could make it. He looked at me oddly, 'probably wondering what a mage would need with a dagger', before nodding and telling me to come back in 30 minutes while he asked a leatherworker to make one quickly. I nodded back flashing a quick smile before making my way back to the guard now carrying several rings worth of sovereigns. 

This time it went a lot more smoothly seeing as I just offered him money. Offering the food back to the prisoner and then subsequently getting a poop covered key as sadly the highpoint of my day so far. Grabbing the key with just my fingertips, I ran off not even bidding goodbye hoping to find somewhere to rinse it. Finding nothing, I just stuck it into a different pocket of the backpack on my back seeing as all my clothes were still in the knapsack on top of it. 

Now it’s time to find Alistair! I made my way quickly to the area Alistair was in. Drawing stares as I grinned wildly in anticipation. As I stood front of the ramp I started to become stressed out 'What if everything is wrong? What if he doesn't like me? What if this was truly a nightmare and he was a horrid person' I continued this line of questioning for some time. Another line of thought was also running though asking why I was just standing there at the ramp when the man was right up there.

“I can do this! I made it through Cullen, how bad can Alistair be!” I began to whisper-yell at myself trying to psych myself up before I reached the top of the ramp. It occurred to me that the slower I moved the more likely I was to wake up and miss the encounter entirely so I decided to just go and deal with whatever dumb stuff came out of my mouth. Finally, I gave in and faced my fears so I stopped I took another deep breath and started up the ramp. As I was walking I began to see two people and once I reached the top.

For the first time, I actually noticed that the people were more expressive in this dream world and more human-like. I could see the glints of sunlight hitting his splint mail and hear the slight sound of clanging with every movement. When I looked towards the mage I could see the fine embroidery around the top of his robes and the azure crystals lining his staff on his back.

'What purpose could those have? Is it just his aesthetic? Did my staff have them?' I started to question internally before whipping my head around to see if my staff had one. Halfway turned I then remembered that I wasn't carrying a staff like my character normally would.

Remembering that I placed my dagger in my boot I decided to look at it to check later, but now I was very excited since I wasn’t paying attention earlier to actually know.

I was then suddenly knocked back by the mage. The man was muttering to himself and ignored me. I sat up and started to rub my lower back while groaning in pain. I could tell Alistair hadn't noticed I was on the ground yet as I caught the end of his spiel and he was suddenly in front of my face.

I flinched because of the quick movement and he started to apologize as if it was his fault. I then started to laugh and you could see the relief fill his eyes before he rubbed his neck in Cullen's signature move of embarrassment. I stared off for a second wondering if Cullen was going to actually listen to my note before I looked back at Alistair and stared into his questioning eyes.

They were amber with little flecks of brown in them and I guess I was silent for quite some time pondering Cullen because his eyes then looked worried. I shook my head before noticing that he was asking me a question.

"Sorry! I...uh I wasn't listening sorry!" I said quickly shuffling around before trying to pick myself off the ground.

He laughed and looked at me with a soft smile before stating his question again. "Well, before you so rudely started to daydream, I was asking your name and what you needed."

"Oh! Um...my name is Solona Amell. I'm a new recruit I was sent to find Alistair and I wanted to know if you could direct me to him or..." I trailed off, knowing that this was Alistair seeing as I have seen a different version of this scene play out several times.

“Oh, you’re Duncan’s new recruit. I should have recognized you right away. I apologize” Alistair replied genuinely looking guilty for not recognizing me.

“No worries, I mean how could you possibly recognize me anyways. It’s not like they give the senior members portraits of each new recruit.” I start to laugh awkwardly towards the end of my spiel and then smile at him. Once again staring straight into his eyes and unable to hear him over the sound of my own heartbeat. ‘Hey at least I have a heartbeat I guess.’

He looks warily at me “Solona, I must’ve been misinformed I thought you came from the Circle of Magi…unless you were a Templar?”

“Well, Alistair?” I say which prompts a nod from him. “I am not a Templar, I am a mage. But as of now, my magic is not up to par so I’ve taken to using this dagger.” I gesture to my boot but then remember I’m wearing robes, so I bend down to grab the dagger. I may have grabbed it a little wildly though since seconds later it flew out of my hand and landed with a clatter on the floor. He laughed loudly before ducking down and grabbing the dagger from the ground.

‘Way to make a fool of yourself, he probably thinks I’m an idiot now’ I start to grouch as I take the dagger from his hands, now able to examine it and notice that is had a crown of ruby crystals lining the hilt. I make a small noise of appreciation that makes Alistair laugh slightly. 

“How old are you then Solona?” he asks abruptly.

“I’m maybe 18, my birthday may have passed I don’t really remember my memory is sort of wonky. The circle is pretty dim and dull place, my only friends being Jowan, who led to me being here, and Cullen who is apparently a recent friend, but more of that person I talk to even though I’m not allowed to.” I said blabbering on about the circle or at least what I imagined Solona’s life was like there. Although could I just tell them my real life and everyone should be like ‘Oh okay’ seeing as it’s just a never-ending dream.

Alistair nods and then begins to grin once I bring up Cullen. “So wait are you telling me, our new mage recruit was friendly with a Templar! Color me surprised, I guess we will be best friends then since I was almost a Templar.” I pretend to be shocked when he says this but I can barely conceal my grin. He then rolls his eyes and pats me on the head before gesturing towards the arch and raising his eyebrows.

“Come on Solona, time to get you a sheath and berate Duncan for letting such a tiny person into our order.” He continues to grin as my eyes widen in shock because he has never said something like this before in the game. He ruffles my hair and as we make our way out I begin to explain to him that I’ve already convinced the Quartermaster to get a leatherworker to start working on a sheath for me.

After developing a rather tall and manly shadow, I rushed over to retrieve the sheath I so badly required. Alistair and I held a great conversation on the way to the Quartermaster, it was seeming as if I was becoming great friends with him immediately. Chattering aimlessly as we sat there waiting for the Quartermaster to return with the sheath from the leatherworker, our conversation steered into topics such as his previous life as a Templar and whatever I could come up with regarding my own past. The Quartermaster finally returned, and then went on to hand me the long-awaited sheath and tried to figure out the best way to apply the sheath. Alistair regarding me with a playful stare just poked fun the whole time as I tried to work it out and let out a small cheer when I finally managed to accomplish the oh so difficult task of putting on a belt with a loop for my damned dagger. 

Marching over to Duncan after finally completing my task, hoping to finally fight some darkspawn but Duncan dismissed us immediately stating that we were not ready. He went on to explain that I had zero training and that while I was going to be a grey warden I first needed to train just so I could actually stab something. This was accompanied with a reproachful look towards me, he probably noticed I did not see a mage to check out my magic immediately.

‘He can’t blame me though, it’s his fault’  I think bitterly as another side glance was stolen towards Alistair, who has taken to standing exclusively at my left side throughout the day. Duncan looks at Alistair fondly before ordering him to take me to see a mage. 

Apparently Alistair took this very seriously because within minutes I was standing in front of a angry Wynne. She regarded me with what seemed like a motherly look before starting to rattle off things I should have done after the Harrowing to make sure my magic was alright. None of which I actually did. Once I told her this she sighed and told Alistair to leave. Insisting that he was not needed for what she had to teach me. He nodded once, patted my head for the second time that day and went on his way. Declaring that he would be back in a few hours to show me where supper was held.

This was new territory for me completely, I didn’t understand why some parts of the dream worked and others didn’t. Why did it not give me crucial information but did address the fact that I am broken. The thought that had been circling through my head for days had now finally taken route in my main thought process.


End file.
